For a long time, I was burdened with a hundred and one things to do. I was despairing about finishing them ever. I thought I had so much to do. I really pitied myself and felt that life was not fair. Why did I have to do so much when other people seemed to enjoy themselves and have a lot of fun. I felt bad that I had no one to help me.
I also blamed my circumstances and my folks who had not taught me the tools for doing so. I blamed the fact that I was a single parent and the circumstances which made me so. I blamed my bosses for not having been fair to me and giving me so much work that I never found the time earlier to do so. I blamed my family for not taking good care of me.
The other thing that I found difficult to do was to prioritise what was important and what had to be done first. Since everything had piled up, everything now seemed to be urgent. I had to tackle everything at once . I was feeling so overwhelmed that I cried copious tears in private, all the while pitying myself. Nothing really changed. But since I had started to do detailed lists , I kind of knew what had to be done.
There was lots of stuff that had to be thrown away, given away, used up,etc. There was tons of financial work that was pending. There was plenty of work that had to be done in the house- repairs, routine maintenance , upgrading, refurbishing, etc. How was I ever going to be able to do it all. And in fact, I believed that there was some stuff that was impossible to be done at all.
However, since I wanted to go out and get a job, I felt very strongly that I had to accomplish all this before I started to work or else they would never get done ever. This truly frightened me as I had a family history of things never getting accomplished and then blaming it on bad karma. I had heard such things all through childhood.
Suddenly, one day, I decided after reading loads of stuff on clearing clutter and about making lists and accomplishing things to try and get started . I was quite frightened and did not know where to begin. I loved clearing clutter and so I started to do that. I did clear some stuff but soon I felt tired. I could not accomplish much. But I remembered from the past that I used to do this. I would work in spurts and then did not like to come back to the same thing. I found it very difficult to do so. I gave up too easily. Also, I did this in spite of having help to do so.
But , somehow, this time I persisted. I started the next day on something else. Clearing some important paperwork. I was again able to accomplish some things and was able to get rid of a lot of stuff and clear out a lot. So, I felt happy as I did not have to do the same thing and yet get something accomplished. I continued doing this for some time. I would take up a new area and accomplish a small amount and yet get something done from the list. Nothing was fully accomplished , but I could actually begin to see that I was making headway.
The piles of clothes were less, the rooms were cleaner, things were either removed or neatly boxed and put away. While doing this, I learned another valuable lesson. I should not bother to do things perfectly. I should just aim to get them done. If I did that, I was able to accomplish more and at the end of the day, this is what made me happy. So , I gave things to whom it was convenient and not wait for the perfect person to be given to. I sold things at whatever price I was able to after checking out a couple of options. This way I was able to get rid of stuff much faster that before . Earlier stuff would sit in my house for years as I was planning to give it to the best person concerned .
By persisting and continuing to do things regularly , I have been able to reduce a lot of the work and feel much better about this fact. By taking consistent action , I no longer feel overwhelmed or frightened about the future. I now feel that I will be able to take care of it all, if I continue to handle everything. The important thing I noticed is that I now have much more energy to get things accomplished , than I had before. Not just in one area but in general. This has resulted in me doing a lot more stuff than before- getting rid of clutter, tackling paperwork, going more frequently to the market.
Another interesting insight that I have got from tackling things is that things don't take all that much time as I assumed they would take. Where I assumed a task would take a few days, I notice it gets done in an a few hours. Where I had assumed the job would take a day or so to accomplish, it takes barely an hour. So, I realised that fear makes us exaggerate the nature of the work and time taken and makes us believe that everything in life is complicated. when we start to take action, we start to change this belief , albeit slowly.
Finally , the biggest and most important lesson that I am learning as I still have a long way to go is this- the problems we are given are meant to improve our lives . What I mean by this needs a little explaining. When we find some situation difficult, we call this a problem. We rave and rant, we complain, we become judgemental. But it is there to actually make us more capable, more competent, more strong. If we tackle the problem in front of us , we are sure to emerge stronger and more capable and eventually happier as such issues will no longer trouble us. So, our problems are actually our opportunity to make our lives better and hence, happier. So, the Problem Is The Solution.
Another interesting thing that I realised is that problems are unique to each one of us. The problems that I am faced with is not faced by another individual. That's because that individual has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses based on the circumstances of birth, environment and upbringing. So, the problems of one may not appear to be problems for another person at all. Often, this makes us lament about our circumstances which leads to suffering. But, the important thing to realise here is that by tackling the problem in front of me, I will be able to change an area of weakness into an area of strength. Then, there will be no suffering. Instead there will be joy.
So, to sum it up, it is important to tackle the issues that come up in our lives , knowing that these issues are the ones which are right for our life and by tackling them , we will actually be benefitted. Often , we are very frightened and that is where the complaining and the judgement and the disappointment comes from. we don't know why this has happened and what will be the outcome. So, out of fear and uncertainty comes rage, unhappiness and suffering. But have faith. Know for sure that this horrible situation is actually good for our life. We need to probably become braver , stronger , wiser and this is the way for that to happen. But that lesson of life will only be learnt if we deal with it, not brush it under the carpet as I was doing. That only makes the situation more complicated , messy and ugly. Not impossible , but certainly more difficult.
I also blamed my circumstances and my folks who had not taught me the tools for doing so. I blamed the fact that I was a single parent and the circumstances which made me so. I blamed my bosses for not having been fair to me and giving me so much work that I never found the time earlier to do so. I blamed my family for not taking good care of me.
The other thing that I found difficult to do was to prioritise what was important and what had to be done first. Since everything had piled up, everything now seemed to be urgent. I had to tackle everything at once . I was feeling so overwhelmed that I cried copious tears in private, all the while pitying myself. Nothing really changed. But since I had started to do detailed lists , I kind of knew what had to be done.
There was lots of stuff that had to be thrown away, given away, used up,etc. There was tons of financial work that was pending. There was plenty of work that had to be done in the house- repairs, routine maintenance , upgrading, refurbishing, etc. How was I ever going to be able to do it all. And in fact, I believed that there was some stuff that was impossible to be done at all.
However, since I wanted to go out and get a job, I felt very strongly that I had to accomplish all this before I started to work or else they would never get done ever. This truly frightened me as I had a family history of things never getting accomplished and then blaming it on bad karma. I had heard such things all through childhood.
Suddenly, one day, I decided after reading loads of stuff on clearing clutter and about making lists and accomplishing things to try and get started . I was quite frightened and did not know where to begin. I loved clearing clutter and so I started to do that. I did clear some stuff but soon I felt tired. I could not accomplish much. But I remembered from the past that I used to do this. I would work in spurts and then did not like to come back to the same thing. I found it very difficult to do so. I gave up too easily. Also, I did this in spite of having help to do so.
But , somehow, this time I persisted. I started the next day on something else. Clearing some important paperwork. I was again able to accomplish some things and was able to get rid of a lot of stuff and clear out a lot. So, I felt happy as I did not have to do the same thing and yet get something accomplished. I continued doing this for some time. I would take up a new area and accomplish a small amount and yet get something done from the list. Nothing was fully accomplished , but I could actually begin to see that I was making headway.
The piles of clothes were less, the rooms were cleaner, things were either removed or neatly boxed and put away. While doing this, I learned another valuable lesson. I should not bother to do things perfectly. I should just aim to get them done. If I did that, I was able to accomplish more and at the end of the day, this is what made me happy. So , I gave things to whom it was convenient and not wait for the perfect person to be given to. I sold things at whatever price I was able to after checking out a couple of options. This way I was able to get rid of stuff much faster that before . Earlier stuff would sit in my house for years as I was planning to give it to the best person concerned .
By persisting and continuing to do things regularly , I have been able to reduce a lot of the work and feel much better about this fact. By taking consistent action , I no longer feel overwhelmed or frightened about the future. I now feel that I will be able to take care of it all, if I continue to handle everything. The important thing I noticed is that I now have much more energy to get things accomplished , than I had before. Not just in one area but in general. This has resulted in me doing a lot more stuff than before- getting rid of clutter, tackling paperwork, going more frequently to the market.
Another interesting insight that I have got from tackling things is that things don't take all that much time as I assumed they would take. Where I assumed a task would take a few days, I notice it gets done in an a few hours. Where I had assumed the job would take a day or so to accomplish, it takes barely an hour. So, I realised that fear makes us exaggerate the nature of the work and time taken and makes us believe that everything in life is complicated. when we start to take action, we start to change this belief , albeit slowly.
Finally , the biggest and most important lesson that I am learning as I still have a long way to go is this- the problems we are given are meant to improve our lives . What I mean by this needs a little explaining. When we find some situation difficult, we call this a problem. We rave and rant, we complain, we become judgemental. But it is there to actually make us more capable, more competent, more strong. If we tackle the problem in front of us , we are sure to emerge stronger and more capable and eventually happier as such issues will no longer trouble us. So, our problems are actually our opportunity to make our lives better and hence, happier. So, the Problem Is The Solution.
Another interesting thing that I realised is that problems are unique to each one of us. The problems that I am faced with is not faced by another individual. That's because that individual has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses based on the circumstances of birth, environment and upbringing. So, the problems of one may not appear to be problems for another person at all. Often, this makes us lament about our circumstances which leads to suffering. But, the important thing to realise here is that by tackling the problem in front of me, I will be able to change an area of weakness into an area of strength. Then, there will be no suffering. Instead there will be joy.
So, to sum it up, it is important to tackle the issues that come up in our lives , knowing that these issues are the ones which are right for our life and by tackling them , we will actually be benefitted. Often , we are very frightened and that is where the complaining and the judgement and the disappointment comes from. we don't know why this has happened and what will be the outcome. So, out of fear and uncertainty comes rage, unhappiness and suffering. But have faith. Know for sure that this horrible situation is actually good for our life. We need to probably become braver , stronger , wiser and this is the way for that to happen. But that lesson of life will only be learnt if we deal with it, not brush it under the carpet as I was doing. That only makes the situation more complicated , messy and ugly. Not impossible , but certainly more difficult.
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