The Meaning of Life

What is the meaning and purpose of life? We think it is to have a good education, get married to a nice person , have children and lead a wonderful life, full of joy and laughter. Nothing wrong with that. But life is not so smooth. There are plenty of hiccups along the way. We have all kinds of experiences which leave us unhappy and upset- financial troubles, relationship disasters, illnesses, job troubles, etc. So, we realise that life is not smooth sailing. But our belief is that we will be happy once these troubles are over. We also believe that we will be happy if we were to marry somebody rich and successful (if we are women). We will be happy if we have lots of money , travel the world, have a great job and have loads of fun. Sometimes we do too. But whenever trouble hits us, we are upset and sad as we don't often know what to do to overcome our difficulties. And so we feel that once we overcome these difficulties, we will be happy.

So, most of our adult life we are running after the trappings of what we believe will make us happy- money, job, relationships , success, etc. In the process, if we have to trample over others or hurt others, it does not matter.  But does it truly make us happy ? No. But we learn after getting  many of the things that we covet,  that they do make us happy temporarily! Soon, we are chasing after some other goal and the cycle continues.

So, what then is the meaning of life? Are we going to chase after new goals all the time? Are we going to just suffer and not want these things? No. I have understood it as the universes' way of teaching us lessons of life which will always remain with us . And that is why we are born each time. In different avatars, in different milieus. Only to learn some important lessons. If we don't learn them we continue to suffer till we learn them. And this process continues across many lifetimes , till we learn all the lessons. Such persons who have learnt all these lessons are called Avatars, enlightened beings, mentors, gurus, Buddhas, etc.

So, its important for us to ask when we are suffering, what is it that I need to learn from this situation? Once we learn that particular lesson, we are free from such problems as they no longer frighten us. Then we move on to learn another lesson. And that is the purpose of our life. To become strong and wise human beings who are able to see the situations in life and understand why they are happening and what to do in this situation. It is also to understand why people behave the way they do. In other words , we start to have a lot of compassion for others or tolerance for others. This also prevents us from having to resort to violence or negative behaviour to lead a successful,  happy and fulfilled life.

Friendship

Its important to have friends in life. But its really funny how the nature of friendship changes over time.

As a child , I had many friends with whom I played at home and at school. At home, I  played with my friends who were my neighbours mostly . They were from diverse backgrounds and were from both the sexes. What mattered  most was that we ran around and had a lot of fun. It did not matter who we were and what our parents did or what we had at home.

During the day, we would all go to school and come back, have our meals and wait to play with each other. The attraction of playtime was great. We also fought over silly things and got scolded by our parents. But life was really very simple. Problems centred around issues such as being bullied by the older kids or being scolded for hurting ourselves or staying out late or not having our milk, etc.

 

In school , we largely made friends with our classmates. We would play with them during our lunch breaks and sometimes sit and discuss movies or studies. As we grew older , we would also talk about our teachers, movie stars, music and boyfriends. We never really got to know much about their home lives until much later, when we started spending time at home with each other. But , again it was restricted to superficial things.
 

But our friendships were fiercely loyal. We would fight for each other, stand up to  our parents and teachers and even tell lies to save a friend from scolding or punishments. We would keep special things or goodies , so that we could share them with our friends .

College was a different ballgame altogether. The freedom to go and come on our own was great. Bunking classes and going to movies was an altogether different thrill. The attractions of the outside world had started to creep in. As a result, the definitions of friendship had also started to change. Now, our friends were those with whom we hung out , saw movies, talked  about boys , career and politics but we did not form very strong bonds . We had few close friends. We cherished these close friends.

At work, the situation changed completely and we rarely, if ever made friends. In later life too, we rarely get a chance to make really close friends. 

Good friends are rare. Good friends are those who don't judge you. They like you for who you are. They accept you totally. You are comfortable in their presence. They are loyal to you. They will help you out in a crisis and listen to you patiently for hours over some problem that is plaguing you.

But today, I feel things have changed dramatically. Friendships have changed completely. Friends don't have time for each other as they are busy with their lives- work, business, shopping, mall hopping, etc. taking up their lives. Also, they might not like to mix with you if you do not have the same status or enough money to lead a similar lifestyle as they are leading. They will do everything to avoid you or even if they don't do that , they will try to pull you down in some way, so that it makes them feel better. They pull you down behind your back. Disloyalty is the order of the day!! True friendships are rare today in this fiercely competitive and dog-eat-dog world. It is truly such a great loss !!What a pity!