Friendship

Its important to have friends in life. But its really funny how the nature of friendship changes over time.

As a child , I had many friends with whom I played at home and at school. At home, I  played with my friends who were my neighbours mostly . They were from diverse backgrounds and were from both the sexes. What mattered  most was that we ran around and had a lot of fun. It did not matter who we were and what our parents did or what we had at home.

During the day, we would all go to school and come back, have our meals and wait to play with each other. The attraction of playtime was great. We also fought over silly things and got scolded by our parents. But life was really very simple. Problems centred around issues such as being bullied by the older kids or being scolded for hurting ourselves or staying out late or not having our milk, etc.

 

In school , we largely made friends with our classmates. We would play with them during our lunch breaks and sometimes sit and discuss movies or studies. As we grew older , we would also talk about our teachers, movie stars, music and boyfriends. We never really got to know much about their home lives until much later, when we started spending time at home with each other. But , again it was restricted to superficial things.
 

But our friendships were fiercely loyal. We would fight for each other, stand up to  our parents and teachers and even tell lies to save a friend from scolding or punishments. We would keep special things or goodies , so that we could share them with our friends .

College was a different ballgame altogether. The freedom to go and come on our own was great. Bunking classes and going to movies was an altogether different thrill. The attractions of the outside world had started to creep in. As a result, the definitions of friendship had also started to change. Now, our friends were those with whom we hung out , saw movies, talked  about boys , career and politics but we did not form very strong bonds . We had few close friends. We cherished these close friends.

At work, the situation changed completely and we rarely, if ever made friends. In later life too, we rarely get a chance to make really close friends. 

Good friends are rare. Good friends are those who don't judge you. They like you for who you are. They accept you totally. You are comfortable in their presence. They are loyal to you. They will help you out in a crisis and listen to you patiently for hours over some problem that is plaguing you.

But today, I feel things have changed dramatically. Friendships have changed completely. Friends don't have time for each other as they are busy with their lives- work, business, shopping, mall hopping, etc. taking up their lives. Also, they might not like to mix with you if you do not have the same status or enough money to lead a similar lifestyle as they are leading. They will do everything to avoid you or even if they don't do that , they will try to pull you down in some way, so that it makes them feel better. They pull you down behind your back. Disloyalty is the order of the day!! True friendships are rare today in this fiercely competitive and dog-eat-dog world. It is truly such a great loss !!What a pity!

Change is the only reality and the way to be

I have always wanted to talk about the things that I see around me and I have finally felt the compulsions to do so. The system needs to undergo a lot of changes. Changes always happen when the compulsions are great. The learnings of the industrial age changed many things . What was acceptable in agrarian society was no longer seen as working in the industrial age and so things underwent a change. But now that we are moving into another age of information technology, we have to change the way we do things again, in order to suit the times.

The way we travel has changed so dramatically. With advent of automobiles, the way people travelled changed. So, as a result roads were improved from dirt tracks to metalled and tarred roads. Rail travel was further streamlined from  slow ponderous trains pulled by steam engines to superfast trains pulled by electricity. Air travel too has changed  and with more people being able to travel, the look and needs of airports have changed.

Everything as we know it has changed. But reforms in the social area are the slowest to change. When we were ruled by the Mughals and other muslim rulers, we regressed as a society as these rulers were themselves very conservative and repressive. But with the advent of the British, we were forced to undergo many reforms as these were areas where we were truly backward, e.g. womens' education, sati , widow remarriage, increasing the age of marriage, etc. In Europe, women's liberation happened as a result of the loss of lives of able bodied men as a result of the two world wars.

But there are still many areas where the government needs to step in firmly with laws and incentives to further improve the lives of those who are less privileged and less endowed by life- in the areas of  medical care, education, etc.  By good education and good  preventive health care services, we can actually bring down the costs of health care in the country. This will also reduce the costs of lives lost and loss of mandays at work leading to huge savings to the exchequer.

Also, it is important to  look at the way our society treats it criminals. Because of the nature of our economy , people are frustrated in finding legitimate means of livelihood and many resort to crime. This perpetuates a culture among those who are born and brought up in this environment and do not realise anything is wrong with living a life of crime. When such people are caught and sent to jail, they  perpetuate a life of crime inside as well. jails therefore, are the worst breeding grounds for really hard -core criminals. hence we need to completely overhaul the jail system as we know it. we have to provide even the hardened criminal with the opportunity of changing through education and work which has to be made mandatory. Psychotic and psychiatric patients need to be treated and returned to normal life.